October 2007

MENTORS:  HOW TO FIND ONE AND HOW TO BE ONE

BY JASMINE K. MEHTA, YOUNG LAWYERS CHAIR

I was recently requested to serve as a mentor to one of our new associates.  This meant two things to me.[1]  First, in spite of my qualification as a “young” lawyer, I’m now old enough to qualify as a mentor.  Second, I realized that I needed to evaluate how to be an effective one.  What was expected of me?  How could I best serve my mentee? 

The best resource to draw upon in order to answer those questions, of course, is your own experience.  I have successfully found several mentors throughout my legal education and career and, prior to that, during my education and my employment as a marine biologist.  (My post-degree employment consisted of one summer standing knee deep in icy waters – it was too brief to call a career). 

Looking back to my own mentors brought me to the question of how I had found them in the first place.  Designated mentors seem to be a construct of law schools and law firms.  Perhaps in college, older students may be designated as mentors to new students.  But I always seemed to find mine on my own.  In college, it was usually the professor with whom I could most freely speak.  I recall very helpful conversations with a particular microbiology professor at Woods Hole, MA.  To get our research projects done, a small group of us were regularly in the lab until one or two in the morning.  Our professor was a night owl himself, and took advantage of the non-teaching hours to complete his research.  During that time, he would initiate career discussions and provide excellent advice regarding graduate schools, finding and obtaining grant money for research, the best places to travel during summer break, and the superior qualities of Turkish coffee, which he made for us in the lab (and which may have contributed to our stamina and late-night hours).  He listened to our concerns and never laughed, even at our insecurities regarding our abilities to find the best research lab to work in, or the best post-doc position, or a tenured professor position. 

Asking a graduate student to lunch was an easy way to begin a mentor relationship since graduate students were starving students too.  I have found that this works equally well with lawyers – it’s hard for anyone to pass up a free lunch.

But, truth be told, most of my relationships with mentors evolved organically.  I worked with a grad student, or for a professor, and looked to them for advice.  You quickly came to know whose door was open, who would listen, who had the broadest experience from which to draw.  Those were the people I sought out, without even realizing it. 

Most law firms designate a senior associate to mentor a new associate.  I highly recommend taking advantage of that resource.  Although my “designated” mentor was not the only person from whom I sought advice, I did regularly go to him for advice and information on all sorts of things – from how much to spend on a holiday gift exchange, to work/life balance, to how to tackle a motion for summary judgment.  This brings me to the question of how to be a good mentor to a new associate.  The following is a list of suggestions derived from qualities that my mentors demonstrated. 

1.       Be willing to give your time and make mentoring a priority, not a distraction.           

The most important quality between a mentor and mentee is trust.  If a mentor is unable or unwilling to give his or her time and undivided attention, it is difficult to trust that person’s advice.  Was he really listening?  When will she call back with a response to your question?  My mentors couldn’t always take time on the spot to answer questions or give advice, but they always made time later that day or the next.  They still do.

2.       Listen.

Listening is an art.  Those who do it well perceive not only the question that you asked, but the question you were afraid to ask.  It is difficult to listen well when your telephone is ringing every ten minutes with a client emergency.  Take the time to have an undisturbed conversation.  Put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” or request your secretary to take messages.  Or, better yet, take your mentee to lunch or coffee, where you can have a conversation in an informal atmosphere without interruptions. 

3.       Empathize.

People’s concerns come in all shapes and sizes, and may or may not be founded.  Put yourself in your mentee’s shoes, and reflect upon your own lack of experience and knowledge at the point in time in which your mentee sits.  His or her concerns are very real, even if you, with the aid of hindsight, realize that they should not be.  Help your mentee put his or her concerns into perspective. 

4.       Laugh (but not at your mentee).

It’s trite but true:  Laughter is the best medicine.  Typically, the worries that cause me the most stress have been allayed by a mentor who can find an analogous incident that happened to him, and who can laugh about it after the fact.  Often, what seems like a disaster at the time is only a minor speed bump.  The ability to laugh after the fact is invaluable.  It creates perspective and demonstrates that you – and your mentee – shouldn’t take yourselves too seriously.      

Whether you are a new associate or a seasoned one, whether you work in private practice or the public sector, the value of a mentor relationship is immeasurable.  It’s never too late to find one.  If you already have one, it’s never too late to find an additional one.  And, if you have been asked to be a mentor, remember what it was like when you were new on the job and needed advice from someone you could trust.  I look forward to my responsibilities as a mentor and hope that you will, too. 

As always, if you have any questions or comments, or want more information on the Young Lawyers Section, please contact me at jmehta@lrlaw.com.  I look forward to hearing from you!